Divorce can play terrible mind games. They are the kind of games that we don’t even realize we’re playing in our own heads. These sneaky lies creep into our most vulnerable places and wage a war that we never even notice we are losing until it’s too late. Recognizing these lies is critical to living the lives we were meant to live.
I’ll never find someone.
After divorce, it can be so easy to slip into the idea that you’re not good enough. We find a way to convince ourselves that we are now damaged goods because we have a failed marriage under our belt. The truth is that you are now wiser than any unmarried person you know. Never allow shame to take the wheel of your train of thought after a divorce. Bravery and love is what will guide you through your own restoration process. Ultimately, bravery and love will guide you through remarriage.
It’ll never work.
A good way to determine whether you are feeding into the lie that your new relationship will never work is by asking yourself if you are finding excuses or reasons. What’s the difference? Excuses give you an easy out. Reasons are based off of rational thinking. It is often easier to find excuses than reasons. There are certain aspects of who we are that are non-negotiable. The only time this lie is true is when we don’t accept each other as we come. If you are both willing to work on troubled areas as a couple, remarrying WILL work.
It’ll never last.
Why does it always seem we punish ourselves when we finally have the healthy relationship? Allowing that sneaky little lie some space in our mind allows it to take control of our rational and emotional circuit board. Reframe your perspective to one of hope and belief that you have the determination and experience to make your new marriage grow and persevere.