The pace of life and never-ending list of priorities combine to sap the time from each day. Work responsibilities, home maintenance, parenting and other responsibilities often seem to keep us on the brink of exhaustion. It is very easy to begin to view one-on-one time with our spouse as a wonderful notion akin to other luxuries that we have conditioned ourselves to forgo in light of the current situation. The idea of a date night can begin to seem frivolous and even irresponsible, but it is necessary for your marriage. After all, we often don’t even finish those daily To-Do lists before our exhausted bodies tell us we have to go to bed.
That said, there are those who maintain that it is irresponsible not to engage in regular on-on-one time with your spouse. Couples therapist Willard Harley has observed that couples “usually replace their time together with activities of lesser importance… but time alone with each other should still remain your highest priority. It is essential to spend time away from children and friends to meet the emotional needs of affection, conversation, companionship and sexual fulfillment of each other.”
Relationship expert and couples therapist Dr. John Gottman’s research has suggested that it takes five positive interactions to each negative one to maintain a healthy relationship’s need for positive interaction. Purposely having regular time together away from the demands previously mentioned is necessary to facilitate such a high number of positive interactions.
Date night gives a couple a common goal. It’s something to look forward to. It’s a mini-vacation from the urgent to focus on the important (and there is a difference). In short, date night just isn’t an option. It’s an absolute requirement.
If you would like more information or are in need of marriage counseling or therapy, contact our Dallas or Mesquite office to schedule a session.