Counseling Tips & News

How can I help, when I don’t understand?

When you’re in a marriage, you work as a unit.  But what happens when the unit isn’t functioning like it should?  Depression can cause friction between married couples.  When your spouse is depressed you may feel like you have failed them.  If you have never dealt with depression yourself, then you might not understand the feelings your spouse is going through.  But don’t worry, the professionals at Family Restoration Counseling Services can help you both.

How can I help, when I don’t understand?

If your spouse is depressed, there are a few things they need to know from you:

  • Your spouse needs to know that you are there for them regardless of how dark things might get.
  • They need to know that you are on their side and you function as a team.
  • Your spouse needs to know that there is nothing they cannot tell you.
  • They need to know that your home is a judgment-free zone.
  • They need to know they are loved for exactly who they are.

You as the spouse need to know:

  • You as the spouse need to know that sometimes there is no particular reason for the depression that they’re in.
  • You as the spouse need to know that it’s not something they can “snap out of”
  • You as the spouse need to know that it’s not about you. They might say things that are hurtful, but they don’t mean to hurt you. And usually feel guilty afterward
  • You as the spouse need to know that your significant other might feel like a burden and they do not want to worry you with their feelings of depression.

Keep in mind, things that seem simple to you might feel overwhelming for them.  Confrontation can make them shut down.  And if things don’t make sense, then that’s ok.  Work together as a team and allow Family Restoration Counseling Services to help your spouse regain their life and maximize your marriage.  Don’t wait to live your life together, contact us today.