Month: January 2019

7 Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk

Getting a teenager to talk to an adult is tricky. Blasting through a thousand texts a day, your teen suddenly has dry mouth when you ask how their day went. Parents want to be involved emotionally with their teenage children but it is frustrating receiving the cold shoulder every time.

7 Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk

Here are seven ways to get your teen to open up and talk to you:

1. Respect

Mutual respect is built over time and is a vital component needed to get your child to open up to you. Instead of waiting until your teen respects you, try to give them respect and watch to see if they repay the favor. It may take some time but it is worth it.

2. Don’t Assume they Are Ignoring You

Teens may not want to get into more trouble and may not speak up as a way to avoid disrespecting you further. Instead of assuming why your child is doing something, keep your cool and ask them directly.

3. You Won’t Understand

How many times do parents here the phrase, “You won’t understand”? Teens forget their parents were young and certainly have a hard time imagining they did the similar things. Tell your teen a personal story of why you can understand. The story will connect you and your teen emotionally.

4. Keep Your Head

Arguments can become heated quickly. Know when you are losing your cool and take a break. Not only will you avoid potential guilt from saying or doing things you did not mean, you will accomplish more after you and your teen take a few moments to reflect on the argument at hand.

5. How are Your Other Relationships?

If a teen sees how you gossip behind their father’s back or belittle their siblings to family friends, they will shut down and bow out of a deep relationship. Your relationships with others show your kids what they can expect the relationship between the two of you will look like. How does it look from their point of view?

6. The Gossip Monster

If your child is not talking to you, they may be afraid anything they say to you will be spread around as fast as they can spit it out. Make a point to keep your conversations private and if your child has a big secret, let them know that certain things must be shared but they will keep the secret if the child is not being harmed.

7. Open up About Yourself Too

Don’t expect your teen to carry the weight of the relationship. Open up and take time to bond with your teen. Tell them personal stories that fit the occasions and walk them through lessons you have learned. Kids and parents benefit greatly by connecting on a deep emotional level.

Family Restoration Counseling Services has trained professionals for helping adolescents and families. Contact us today if you want to learn more about how to connect more deeply with your teen.

Why Do we need Re-marital Therapy?

When a relationship ends, often times we accumulate resentments, pain and heartbreak from our failed journey toward happily ever after. If we are not careful, we carry those resentments and pain forward into future relationships, maybe even without being aware of it. All of these emotions can lend to becoming fearful to move on from a failed marriage. This fear based living is detrimental in life and relationships so why do we need Re-marital Therapy?

Why Do we need Re-marital Therapy?

In this instance, the proverbial saying of: “nothing changes if nothing changes” rings true. If we do not want to make the same mistakes in the future, we have to know what those mistakes are by taking an honest inventory of ourselves and our actions. This may include asking some very difficult questions. Where had I been selfish or unkind? What could I have done differently? How would I handle this situation in the future? Are the coping skills I developed as a result of this relationship healthy and beneficial, or negative and destructive?

The answers to these questions are difficult. But in order to affect lasting change, it is a necessary step in personal growth and will prepare you for future, healthy relationships. This allows you to live the best and most honest version of ‘you’ as you move forward. It is not an easy step, especially if you attempt to take it on your own.

At Family Restoration Counseling, we partner with you on your life walk. We are here to guide you through the muddy waters. We offer Re-marital Therapy as a tool to fortify and strengthen your relationship. Contact us today to set up an appointment to move past the past and into the future even if you feel you don’t need re-marital therapy.